


Stay Open

by NoirAngel011



Series: Robin Needs Hugs and Steve Provides [5]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Aftermath of Starcourt, Aftermath of Torture, Bulimia, Canon Lesbian Character, Eating Disorders, F/F, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, References to Drugs, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-13 15:15:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21154127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoirAngel011/pseuds/NoirAngel011
Summary: Robin struggles with recovering from Starcourt. It was all too much for her to handle and a month later she's shut herself away and refuses help. Steve is determined to break through to her.VERY loosely a songfic based of Maya Hawke's Stay Open.Chapter Three was co-written with my friend Audrey! So not all the writing here is my own, but all has been proofread by her except for a portion (most of) chapter 6.Read the tags!! This story deals with very sensitive topics. The actual Rape/Non-con is in chapter six and is only referenced. Bulimia is throughout the story if you squint, but mostly focused in chapter two.





	1. Close The Door Behind Me,

**Chapter One- Close The Door Behind Me**

Robin just didn’t feel right.

She couldn’t place her finger on it. Sure, everything seemed okay, but in reality, nothing was as it should be.

She was tired, but couldn’t sleep.

Cold, but too hot under a blanket.

Hungry, but anything she ate came right back up.

Lonely, but too scared to be with other people.

Upset, but couldn’t cry.

Everything just really fucking hurt.

To be honest, all she wanted was a hug and a few comforting words. She was too afraid of rejection to ask for them.

Since Starcourt, Steve hadn’t addressed what she had told him in the bathroom. He had acted okay with it at the time, but now Robin thought that she could have just been imagining his acceptance because of the drugs.

Now, she laid in her bed, covers thrown to the side, contemplating everything that had happened.

She wanted Steve. Steve was her rock. The one constant in it all. Always there until they were forced apart.

She climbed out of her bed, reaching for the pale blue phone sitting on the desk. She dialed his number slowly, having memorized it after hearing it once. She lifted the phone to her ear. The dial tone was deafening.

“Hello?” Robin let out a sigh of relief when she heard his voice.

“H-hey Steve...?” She said it like a question even though it was a greeting.

“Robin! What’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you hurt? Are we under attack? Was someone mean to you? What happened?” Steve’s motherly instincts kicked in and Robin began to cry.

“Robin!? Why are you crying? What is wrong?!” Steve was panicking. Robin gently hung up, setting the phone down. She didn’t want him to hear her like this. She went back to her bed, crashing down on it and bawling into her pillow

Her bedroom door flung open five minutes later, and she was still crying into her pillow.

“Robin!? Why are you crying? Come on, talk to me. It’s okay,” Steve’s voice was urgent and she could tell he was worried as he took her into his arms. She didn’t know how he had gotten into her house, and she didn’t want to. All that mattered was that Steve was with her now.

“Shh. It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re okay, shhh.” Steve soothed her like a child, rubbing her back and letting her cry on his shoulder.

“I-I I don’t d-deserve you, St-steve!” Robin cried out, hugging him tighter. Steve could feel his shirt dampening with tears.

“No, shh Robin. Don’t think that way. Yes, you do deserve me. It’s okay to be loved. Come here, you don’t need to worry about anything. Just let it out, you can cry, it’s okay.” Steve was impressed with himself for even knowing what to say. Robin laid her head back down on his shoulder, a new bout of tears spilling from her eyes. Steve rubbed her back with one hand and let her grab onto his other.

Soon her cries reduced to hiccups and coughs, with the occasional sniffle. Steve waited for her to pull away on her own though.

When she finally did her cheeks were stained with tear tracks and her face was splotchy and red.

“I- I’m sor-”

Steve cut her off. “Don’t apologize, sometimes you just need to cry. It’s okay, seriously.” Robin nodded, but she hardly believed it.

She took a deep breath and let out a small cough followed by a sniffle. “It’s-it’s just that you-you’re so k-kind and you j-just have tot-total trust in m-me and-and I-I don’t g-get it be-because no-nobody like-likes me but-but you do and-and,” Robin stopped mid-sentence, more tears falling down her cheeks again. Steve hugged her close again.

“You’ve gotta stop thinking like that, because everyone loves you, Robi. We all care. We all trust you. Especially me. You’re safe here with me. I’ve got you. You don’t have to worry about all that with me, because I’ll always love you unconditionally. You’re my best friend, and I’d be lost without you.” Steve had no idea he could be so sappy. She smiled. She laid her ear on his shoulder, her face pressed up against his neck. He held her in his lap, Steve slowly stroking Robin’s hair.

“You-you always know what to say. Th-thank you.” Robin closed her eyes, cuddling closer into him. She was so special to him. He would always love her, no matter what.

Eventually, they fell asleep curled up together on Robin’s bed.

…

Steve woke up first. He looked down at the still-sleeping girl in his arms first, seeing her peaceful for the first time in weeks. Her hand was still tightly held in his, but he didn’t mind. She was worth it.

He didn’t want to disturb Robin, but he needed to pee, bad. Slowly, he got up and moved around her, trying to keep slow movements to prevent her from waking up. Successfully, he got away. It took a moment to get his hand unclasped from hers but once he was free she was still fast asleep.

Now, he just had to find the bathroom. He looked out the window and realized that it was dark out. He remembered something Robin said about her parents going on overnight “dates” every Friday night. And it was, in fact, Friday night.

So they were all alone, in Robin’s house, by themselves. Holy smokes, he thought for sure Robin would never let him stay in the same room with her overnight alone, but here they were.

Maybe it was for the better. Robin needed someone to be there for her, and her parents clearly hadn’t stepped up to the roll. She was even skinnier than she had been three weeks ago, and he already thought that she was anorexic or something the time he accidentally saw her changing in the locker room at Hawkins’ pool.

He shook that thought from his head and left the room, in search of a bathroom.

Steve tried a few doors down the hall. The first led to the master bedroom, which had a bathroom. But he felt weird about using Robin’s parents’ bathroom.

The second door led to a hall closet, stacked with blankets and towels. Nothing to see there.

Finally, he found a bathroom. It was the door right next to Robin’s room. There was a second door inside though. He opened it and realized that it led to Robin’s bedroom. He was standing in her bathroom.

Whatever, it would be fine, as long as he didn’t think about it.

After Steve relieved himself and washed his hands, he noticed the cabinet on the back wall was open slightly. He should have left it and just gone to lay back down with Robin, but he was too curious for his own good.

He opened it and found a book set down on the bottom shelf. He grabbed it and opened it before he had a chance for his brain to catch up and realize what he was holding.

A diary,

Robin’s diary.

Now, he was intrigued.


	2. Lock Up When I Leave,

**Chapter Two- Lock Up When I Leave**

Steve had never read a girl's diary before.

Sure, some girls told him their deepest and darkest secret. But there was something different about going behind their backs to find those secrets out.

He knew he shouldn’t do this. That he was trespassing on Robin’s privacy.

But he just had to know. What kind of junk did Robin spill into her diary? It must be good if she hid it in her bathroom cabinet where her parents were sure to never look.

Maybe her girl crushes, or a detailed encounter with the Russians…

Steve flipped the book open.

_ I haven’t eaten in five days now. I just can’t bring myself to. My mom still hasn’t noticed but I think dad’s onto me, _

Oh shit.

Steve stopped. He couldn’t go farther.

He knew that eating made Robin throw up, but he didn’t think that it was so bad to the point where she would refuse to eat for days at a time.

Steve heard Robin groan in the other room. In a flash, he stuffed her diary back into the cabinet and slipped out of her bathroom, turning off the light behind him.

Robin was sitting up in her bed, shivering with her blanket wrapped around her shoulders now.

“Wha-where did you go?” Robin looked so tired. Steve came over and just wrapped her in a hug. Gentle and sweet. She was shocked for a moment before she leaned into him.

“Come on, let’s go back to sleep. You need it.” Steve took the blanket from her shoulder and helped her lay down. He draped it over her and laid down next to her, letting Robin curl up into him.

Steve was the first one to wake up in the morning. Robin was still asleep, having moved away from him in her sleep, now spread out on the other side of her bed.

He got up and went downstairs. He knew that Robin needed to eat, she looked like she was starving. He yanked open the fridge and found a large array of fruit. So that explained why he always heard her brother calling Robin a fruit bat. He pulled out an orange and grabbed a carton of eggs.

He had no idea how to cook, but for Robin he would try.

After ten minutes of somehow not burning down the house, he heard Robin descending the stairs.

“What- what did you cook and is it burned?” Robin was rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she walked into the kitchen.

“No- for the record, not everything I make gets burned.” Steve stuck his tongue out at her, she returned the gesture. “And I made you breakfast. Here.” He passed her the plate of scrambled eggs and a cut orange. Robin smiled at him.

“Thank you. How did you know only eat scrambled eggs?”

“I’m observant” Steve sent her a wink. Robin giggled.

“Oh, Steve. Always so kind.” Her voice was high and mocking. Steve threw a plastic spoon at her. Robin tossed it back.

That’s how they ended up on opposite sides of the kitchen, tossing forks, spoons, and butter knives at each other. Not safe, for sure, but they were having fun.

Robin screamed when a glass made contact with her mother's very expensive vase of roses. And she had thrown that, trying to hit Steve who was huddled next to the fridge for protection. The vase had sat on the countertop, but now it laid in a million pieces on the tile floor, water spreading out at their feet.

They were both silent. Robin just stared at the mess she had caused. Yep. This was it. She was definitely getting kicked out now. Not for liking girls, but instead for breaking the vase that had sat in the kitchen for twelve years.

“Fuck, goddammit. Oh shit, I’m fucked.” Robin let out on angry string of curses, tears pouring down her face.

“So that’s why you don’t throw things in the kitchen, right?” Steve spoke up after what felt like years.

Robin stayed silent. She felt like her jaw had dropped to the floor.

Steve, being the only one thinking coherent thoughts, grabbed a broom from the laundry room and carefully moved the roses away from the mess, setting them back on the counter. Robin just stood there watching, shell-shocked.

“Hey, it’s okay. I got it. Don’t worry,” Steve scooped the broken glass off the ground. Robin shook her head.

“That was a three hundred dollar vase. We’ve had it for twelve years. We can’t replace it!” Robin dropped to her knees, crying. Steve knew she wasn’t sad about the vase, she was really just tired, hungry, and still not over Starcourt. Any little thing sent her over the edge. Her severe anxiety was a big factor too.

He set down the broom and wrapped his arms around her shaking form.

“Shh. It’s okay. You’re okay. Don’t worry about it, I’ll replace it. They’ll never know. It’s okay. Calm down, Robi. Come on, take some deep breaths with me. In, and out. In, and out.” Steve tried to get her to stop hyperventilating. Slowly, she got her breathing under control. They sat on the floor, Robin folded up into Steve’s chest.

“Come on, I’ve gotta clean up this glass.” Steve pulled Robin up onto her feet. She sat down on the countertop, pulling her knees up to her chest.

“I-I can help. I caused the m-mess,” Robin offered, knowing he shouldn’t have to clean up the broken vase that was her fault. She knew she shouldn’t have let herself get so carried away.

“No, I’ve got it. It’s okay.” Steve gave her the warmest smile that made Robin feel all fluttery in her chest. It felt the way she did when they were in the pouring rain on Starcourt’s roof and he held her hand and she felt safe despite the danger they were in at the time. She knew she would never get tired of that feeling.

“Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Steve turned to her after the mess was cleaned. He had moved the roses to another vase that he found in the back of the hall closet so they wouldn’t wilt.

Robin was hesitant.

“Don’t be shy. We both know my food sucks. You deserve real food that doesn’t taste like poison.

He took her hand and helped her down from the table. She tossed the plate into the trash, after grabbing an orange slice and nibbling on it. Steve was right. His scrambled eggs tasted like dog vomit.

Steve led her out to his car, parked in the driveway next to Austin’s. Robin had no idea where he had gone, she just knew that he hadn’t been home for a few days. Maybe she should be worried.

They drove to Indianapolis to get biscuits from Hardees’. They sat on the hood of Steve’s car where it was parked overlooking a beautiful park. They were quiet as they ate their food, avoiding to talk about last night or that morning.

Steve noticed that Robin was just picking at her cinnamon and raisin biscuits with her fork, not actually eating.

“You okay? You’re not eating like you used to,” Steve asked with genuine concern, sliding his arm around Robin’s shoulder.

Robin put up her walls, pushing his arm off of her.

“How would you know how I used to eat?” Robin was being defensive. Steve knew that she was just upset, but her harshness still hurt.

Steve stayed silent. He had no idea what to say to her.

Robin was curled in on herself, her food pushed away.

She wasn’t okay, not at all. She was hiding her deepest secrets and Steve knew that. He didn’t push her, but he was worried. She needed help, and he had no idea how to give that to her.


	3. Nurse My Pride, Throw In A Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter very much deals with eating disorders, self-esteem issues, and PTSD, you have been warned!
> 
> Also, this was co-written by my friend Audrey (as mentioned in the summary) So if it feels a little choppy that might be why.

**Chapter Three- Nurse My Pride, Throw In A Please**

She had ruined it. She had screwed it up.

Robin had thrown up her walls in a fit of anger, and now Steve was mad at her. The one person she needed to keep her grounded, to protect her, was so mad at her she might never be able to fix their friendship.

On the car ride home from Indianapolis, Robin sat in the passenger with her head on the window, pretending to be asleep. She didn’t want to look at Steve. Robin knew that if she looked at him she would say something to try and make it better, but there was nothing she could say to make anything better. She knew that whatever she said could hurt their broken relationship even more.

A tear fell down her cheek when the car came to a stop. He was dropping her off at home and leaving her forever, she knew it.

When she finally dared to blink her eyes open after Steve had killed the engine, she saw that they were at his house, not hers.

“Come on, let’s go inside.” Steve climbed out of the car. Robin moved to open her door but Steve beat her to it, coming around the side of the car and opening her door for her. He held out his hand to help her up, she took it, liking the comfort of human touch. They walked into the house together and Robin looked around as they entered, expecting to see Steve’s parents, but didn't see anyone.

“Where are your parents?” she asked as she proceeded to walk into the living room, and flopped onto the couch.

"Who knows, who cares,” Steve replied as he poured some orange juice for himself. “Want some?” he walked back after Robin shook her head, and as Robin had, flop onto the opposite couch. He picked up the TV remote from the coffee table next to his head and started to flip through channels.

Nothing good ever came on during the weekends, it took him forever to find something decent to watch. He soon found Days of Our Lives. He stopped and set the remote down, he glanced at Robin to see if she was cool with the show. She looked fine with it.

“I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick.” Steve rushed away as he had a sudden urge to pee. Robin watched him leave and again felt she didn't deserve him. He was such a good friend, and what was she? Just a burden he always had to carry.

She wanted to cry thinking about it. She had thought she had finally found a good friend, someone who cared for her. But instead, she was just holding him down. She got up and glanced at the door, it would only be about a half-hour walk back to her house, and she’d be doing Steve a favor. He deserved better. She made up her mind as she opened the front door, beginning to walk home.

…

Robin hopped onto the sidewalk that ran along her house and walked along it until she was at her front door, she dug the keys from her pocket and opened it, not bothering to lock it behind her. She walked in and was about to head upstairs when she walked past the kitchen.

The fridge was open. Crap, Steve. They must have forgotten to shut it in the chaos of that morning. She walked over to close it but was distracted by the fruit drawer. Her parents kept it fully stocked, just for her. She loved fruit. When she was little she used to just sit in the windowsill eating a bunch of cherries until her fingers and lips were stained red for hours.

She grabbed up an apple, red and fresh. It must have come from their next-door neighbor's apple tree. They were the only ones with good apples this time of year. She slammed the fridge shut and walked away, biting into the apple. It was amazing, snow-white the inside and perfectly juicy, just the way she liked it.

She walked upstairs and continued to nibble on the apple, she entered her room and closed the door with her foot. She walked over to her bookshelf, there were tons of books, many of which she had read many times. She picked out one of her favorites, _ Little Women _.

She had read it over and over and never got sick of it. The hardback book was worn from it being read, and read, over and over since she got it when she was nine. Robin tossed herself down onto her bed, opening her book to the first page that she knew by heart.

Robin continued to nibble on the apple, careful not to let any juice drop onto her beloved book. Robin was reading pretty quick, she was a fast reader and soon was on page one hundred.

As she turned the page she started feeling, weird… It was familiar. This had been happening for weeks. Robin tossed her book to the other side of her bed, losing her page but not really caring. She ran for her bathroom, leaning over her sink as the contents of her stomach spilled out.

She was miserable. The drugs had messed up her system terribly, and anytime she tried to eat anything it didn’t stay for very long.

Soon nothing was coming up at all, even as her stomach convulsed. She hated this part, when she was just gagging on nothing. Her eyes were burning and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks. Robin really wanted Steve right now. He would know what to do, how to hold her and get her through it.

When everything she had eaten in the last week it felt like had finally left her body, she turned on the tap to wash it all down the sink. She flicked off the water and walked back into her bedroom, shuffling her feet along the shag carpet.

Slowly, Robin laid down on her bed, grabbing her blanket and wrapping herself up in it tightly.

Robin buried her face into her mattress and began to bawl, finally breaking down and just sobbing.


	4. But I'll Do Anything You Ask

**Chapter Four- But I'll Do Anything You Ask**

When Steve came back down stairs after using the bathroom, Robin was gone.

Where could she be? Steve looked around the entire first floor, calling out for her. “Robin!?” No response.

He walked past the foyer once more and realized the the front door was open. She had ran off. She had left him. Where had she gone? 

Crap. She must have noticed that he read her diary. She must be mad at him. That’s why she was mad at him at the park that morning. Robin had been pissed about him invading her privacy.

Of course. Steve must be the last person Robin wanted to see.

He shut the door and retreated back to the living room, sitting down on the couch where Robin had been.

As he watched Days of Our Lives, he couldn’t take his mind off of Robin. He missed her company. She could light up any room she walked into. Everything just felt more depressing when she wasn’t around.

Soon, Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He needed to find Robin, no matter if she was mad at him or not. He slipped back on his shoes and ran out the door. He hopped in his car and took off.

He drove around for ten minutes, checking all her favorite places. 

The library, where Robin spent most of her time curled up in the back with a novel; the park, where she often walked the trails at clear her head; and even her middle school teacher’s house where she dog sat Ms. Applegate’s Yorkie some weekends After no luck he drove by the alleyway behind the movie theater where he had caught her playing with the alley cats more than once.

He decided that the best place to check would be her house, where her parents were still gone and she could be in peace. 

He parked in her driveway, killing the ignition and just sitting there, in the blazing sun, thinking everything over. 

Sure, this wasn’t the first time Steve had walked into her house uninvited in the past 24 hours, but something just felt off. Like, he had a sixth sense about Robin. He could tell when she was upset or hurt.

He climbed out of the car and ran into the house, the door not being locked. He knew that he had locked the door when they had left that morning, meaning someone must have come in or out recently.

He ran up the stairs. It sounded like someone was crying. He burst into Robin’s room and stopped dead in his tracks.

She was laying face down on her bed, wrapped up in the fuzzy purple blanket she always cuddled up in when she was scared or sad. He had bought it for her the day after Starcourt, seeing how disrought she was. 

Robin was bawling into her pillow, she just sounded sad. So upset and small. He walked closer to her, taking a seat on the bed next to her head. Steve gently laid a hand on her back and rubbed up and down.

He noticed the book laying at the foot of her bed. _ Little Women _, not something he thought Robin would be into. It was face down and the page it was turned to was creased. He knew Robin would never do that to one of her books on purpose. Strange. 

But even stranger was the apple core laying next to it. It looked fresh, just starting to brown. So she had eaten, that was good. 

“St-Steve? Wha-what are you do-doing here-here?” Robin was looking up at him, her eyes red and her skin pale and dull. There were still tears falling down her face.

“Rob, Robin, what’s wrong? Why are you crying? It’s okay, come here, shhh.” Steve wrapped her up in his arms, fixing her blanket so it was draped around her shoulders.

“I-I threw up,” Robin cried into his shoulder, and Steve held her. Poor thing, he knew that she hated the effects the drugs had on her. It made her constantly sick. She had told him last weekend when he had found her puking up her dinner, which she hadn’t eaten a lot of to begin with.

“I left because I knew that you didn’t want me, why are you here now?” Robin was still sobbing and Steve realized that this had all been a big misunderstanding.

“Hey, no no no. You’re my best friend, I don’t hate you. Listen to me, you do deserve me. Don’t ever think that you’re not good enough.” Steve tried to reassure her, but he didn’t know how well it was working.

He decided not to bring up the diary. Maybe it was for the best that he had looked at it. Robin had gone quiet a few minutes later, calmed down and just laying wrapped up in her blanket with her head resting on Steve’s chest. Steve moved so he was leaned up against her headboard and could lean back. He stroked her hair gently, waiting until her heavy breaths turned into gentle snores before he drifted off as well. 

…

Steve’s dreams were filled with demodogs and The Mind Flayer and Russians, everything jumping and pouncing at him at once. It was a feverish nightmare. He could hear the kids’ screams, Nancy, Jonathon, and Robin all being ripped apart limb from limb by the monsters.

He tried his hardest to wake up, to pull himself from the dream but couldn’t. Everything was too hazy and muddled. Steve tried to close his eyes, but couldn’t he was forced to watch all his friends, young children, and simple bystanders scream and die in agony.

Suddenly everything stopped, and he was in a dark black void. Not the one El described, wet and echoey, but just an endless black void. There was no floor, it was like he was floating. He felt, dead. 

When he tried to close his eyes, he could. And he blinked them open again. But he was still in the void. He pinched himself, but he remained in the void. Was this what death was like? Did he get murdered in his sleep? 

Steve could still remember everything that had happened up to the point of falling asleep. Robin running away, holding her while she cried, trying to get her into a good headspace, drifting into unconsciousness as he stroked her soft hair. It was all so vivid. Now why did he feel so lifeless?

It was an abrupt change when he startled awake, he felt like he was being shaken, but he wasn’t. 

He looked down and recognized the weight on his chest as Robin, curled up and sleeping peacefully. He smiled, she deserved the rest. She really needed a good sleep after crying so much in the past twenty-four hours. It was sweet to see her like this, content and innocent. 

Steve hugged her, relieved that she was safe and sound with him. She stirred a little, but remained asleep after adjusting to the new touch. Robin smiled a little in her sleep, giving the hand she had locked in his a squeeze. 

For just a little bit longer, they could be safe in each other’s arms. 


	5. Things Will Change, They Always Do

**Chapter Five- Things Will Change, They Always Do**

Steve and Robin were startled awake by a shrill scream.

Robin jumped. She grabbed tightly onto Steve’s hand and almost started to cry. She was finally sleeping well for once and someone had ruined it. Steve moved a protective arm around her tighter, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. She squeezed back, signaling she was okay.

That was their thing, one squeeze asking if the other was okay, two back was a yes, one back was a no. It helped a lot on days where Robin seemed to shut down and got trapped in her own mind. They didn need to talk to be able to comfort and help the other.

They turned to find Robin’s parents in the doorway, with looks of disbelief on their faces.

“Robin Annabelle Marie Buckley!” Her mother screamed. Robin curled into Steve even tighter on instinct. 

“You know you are not allowed to have boys alone in this house when nobody else is here! I thought we could trust you! If you managed to get yourself pregnant at seventeen I swear on the lord’s name you will be evicted from this home!!” Her dad was angry, and Robin actually started crying, burying her face into Steve.

Steve was not about to deal with her parents. He scooped her up and carried her blanket, shoving past them and walking out her bedroom door.

They were calling behind him, yelling terrible things at Robin. He wanted to turn around and scream back, that they shouldn't be so cruel to their daughter that was clearly suffering, but Steve didn’t. Robin was upset and he wanted to get her calmed down before she had another panic attack.

Steve opened the passenger side door of his car and set Robin down inside, spreading her blanket out around her. She looked up at him with glassy eyes, tears glazing them over. He quickly rushed around to the driver's side door and climbed in, starting up the car and taking off.

“I-I’m sorry. I forgot… that I couldn’t have boys over, alone” Robin was sniffling as her head laid on the window, cuddled up in her purple blanket.

“No, it's not your fault. I was the one who went over there uninvited. I’m glad I did though, you need someone to watch out for you, Robi. It’s good to be independent but you need someone there to keep you grounded. You get lost in your own head, and I care about you. It’s good to not be alone in your suffering all the time.” Steve reached his hand out and took hers gently, she leaned into the touch. 

Steve’s touch was comforting to Robin because Steve understood because he knew what she had gone through and now she knew more than ever that he would be there to keep her protected when she needed it. He would be there to hold her when she cried, and he would be there when everything got too tough and she felt like she couldn’t go on, he would be there to pick her up and make everything okay.

It was heart-breaking. Robin usually was closed off and didn’t like touch, but now she was touch-starved and crying and Steve just wanted to hold her until all the pain went away. 

He would even take Robin’s pain for her if it made her happy again, if she could smile like she smiled before the mind flayer, before the Russians. How she laughed and teased him and _ definitely _broke company policy in the process. All the things he had fallen in love with and wished he could see in her again.

She buried her face down into her blanket, sniffling and letting for tears fall down her face.

…

They were both silent for close to ten more minutes, the only sound being the car as the tires hit bumps in the road.

Steve wasn’t expecting it when Robin spoke up and he almost went off the road.

“Can- can we go for a walk and clear our heads?” Robin moved her blanket away from her face.

They were just driving around town, taking all the back roads and not really headed towards anything. Robin’s idea was good. The sun was warm and there was a gentle breeze blowing, it was a nice day. A walk would be nice.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He turned the car around and headed towards the park. There was a beautiful trail where the leaves fell in the late summer and the sun glowed through the trees.

Robin came here often, just to get a break from drama and stress. She and Steve climbed out of the car, taking a deep breath in unison.

Steve carefully took Robin’s hand. 

The trail was littered with leaves of green, red, and orange. They crunched under Steve and Robin’s sneakers, filling the quiet forest with sound.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Steve gave her hand a squeeze, waiting for her to squeeze back. For her to tell him she was okay.

When she didn’t respond he turned to look at her. She was looking out at the trees, following a squirrel with her eyes. She wasn’t paying attention to anything, trapped inside her mind again. 

Steve waved his free hand in front of Robin’s face again. She didn’t seem to notice him.

He stopped walking, Robin did too after a moment. He waved his hand in front of her face again.

“Robin?”

“Robin?..."

“Robin!”

On the third call of her name, she snapped out of her trance, turning to look at him.

“Hey, what happened there? You zoned off,” Steve’s voice was concerned but comforting. He lifted her chin with his left hand, making her look up at him. He moved his hand down to her shoulder and she averted her eyes again, looking down at her red converse covered in sharpie drawings and writing. 

“Come on, Robin. Look at me, there’s something going on, what’s wrong?” Steve knew she wasn’t just upset, there was something wrong and he desperately wanted to help her.

“I- I just…” Robin looked off over his shoulder, losing her train of thought mid-sentence.

“Come on, you can talk to me. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay,” Steve’s words were comforting, and Robin felt safe when he was there with her.

Robin remained quiet though. Steve gave her an encouraging look and tightened his grip on her hand a little.

“I don’t know. Something just doesn’t feel right. It’s… never mind. It’s stupid.” Robin started walking again, trying to pull Steve with her, but he was bigger and stronger and stayed in place, tugging on her hand softly until she came back over to him.

“It’s not stupid, what’s on your mind is never stupid. It’s okay if you don’t know what your feeling, but if you can, please, tell me what’s going on. I’m worried, Rob. I want to help you, but you’ve gotta help me out here,” Steve didn’t want to be harsh, to just tell her the same thing over and over. He sounded like a broken record but it had to be said. Robin needed help, and he needed her to speak her mind before he could help her.

“I’m, I think I’m okay for now. Can we just walk?” He knew she was lying, but he didn’t want to call her out on it, let her have something. He smiled and she smiled back. He loved her smile, when she really smiled, happy and perfect. Robin hated her smile, she said it was too big and she looked like a chipmunk, but Steve thought she looked even prettier when she smiled. It was one of the first things about her he had fallen in love with.

So they walked, talking and laughing and telling stories, hand in hand. It felt so amazing to hear Robin laugh as they imitated Tammy Thompson. It was then that Robin knew that Steve was good, she could completely one-hundred-percent trust him with her secrets, and he would accept her and tease her and make her laugh like she hadn’t in years.

Even if she could still feel the feeling of dread and monsters and she still stumbled a bit when she walked, she didn't care.

It felt good to be so happy.


	6. But My Heart Will Stay Open For You

**Chapter Six-But My Heart Will Stay Open For You**

When Steve saw Robin’s smile after she hit a strike on the last frame, he knew they were going to be okay.

Maybe he knew it when she was eating normally again.

Maybe he knew it when Robin rented ten movies and they stayed up all night, joking around and smiling like they hadn’t in months.

Maybe he knew it when they both went a whole week sleeping peacefully without any nightmares.

But he knew they were going to be okay.

Not fixed, not completely better, maybe they wouldn’t ever be the way they were before, but they could still smile and laugh and be happy, and to Steve and Robin, that was all that mattered.

The kids were smiling more again too. They were playing Dn’D weekly and having late-night girl talks. They were happier, and everyone could see it.

In Steve’s worry over Robin and her eating and her trauma, he had almost forgotten about the kids, that had been through so much and they were still just that,  _ kids.  _

Max had lost Billy, El had lost Hopper, Erica had been exposed to things she should have never seen. But good things could come from it.

Nancy and Mike were closer, Jonathon and Will got a fresh start, Lucas and Erica didn’t fight as much, Dustin was more interested in learning all about Russians and their advanced technology. 

Slowly, they were all healing.

It was nice, everyone hanging out and being together, happy.

Some of Steve’s favorites nights still were the ones that he got to sit with Robin on his couch, curled up together watching some cheesy action movie, making fun of how stupid it was. Her snarky commentary and his utter lack of pop culture knowledge made every movie they watched ten times funnier.

She would toss popcorn up into the air and catch it in her mouth, they would sing, terribly and off-key, and they would eventually drift off to sleep wrapped up in Robin’s fuzzy purple blanket.

Her parents were still mad at her, and she stayed out of her house for two weeks, sleeping next to Steve in his room every night, never wanting to be alone in the dark of the guest room even though he offered.

He made sure to keep his fridge stocked with her favorite foods, mostly just a whole lot of fruit. She could go through five nectarines in two days, and he applauded her for being healthy.

Eventually, she went home. Steve knew that it hadn’t gone well when she came running over an hour later with marks on her cheek.

He had hugged her and she had cried, before he had to wipe antiseptic onto the deep cut on her neck, from some sort of wedding ring.

They had spent the rest of the day watching the rain pouring down outside, the weather matching their gloomy moods. Robin had been snacking on a bunch of grapes, the color from her eyes drained as she ate almost mindlessly, her head rested on Steve’s shoulder.

But that had been a month ago. Robin had moved in with Steve and they had turned one of the spare bedrooms into her permanent room when his parents had given him the house after he turned eighteen. They had moved to the Bahamas for retirement, leaving him to be an adult. He was okay with that for once. Steve liked not having to be alone in the large house anymore.

It wasn’t until the next February, one cold day in 1986 that Robin and Steve were actually terrified for one of their kids safety. (All six of them had become like kids to Robin too after Starcourt.)

Max ran three miles through the snow. It was heavy and thick and still falling at a rapid pace, covering the small girl. She was freezing to the bone.

Steve and Robin were the only ones who could help her. Adults with jobs, despite Robin still being in school, she was fully capable of taking care of herself. They would take care of her, she was sure of it, and Max had no plans to ever go back to the small broken home on Old Cherry Road. 

Neil had finally snapped and gone out of control. 

Steve had always worried about Max, who was never truly safe at home with Billy gone. But at first things seemed to sail smoothly… or at least Max never considered it bad enough to bring up to anyone.

She showed up on their doorstep, just in thin blue leggings and a gray cotton long-sleeved top with no jacket. The clothes she always lounged around the house in. On her feet were a brand-new pair of Uggs that Nancy had bought her for her 15th birthday just a week ago. Valentines Day, Max’s birthday.

Neil must have not been able to get what he wanted from Susan anymore. Possibly he had just grown bored. Maybe Max had always been what he wanted and why he married her mother in the first place. Either way, he was now after the younger redhead. He waited until the time was right to strike, going for the Max when she was most comfortable and least expecting any trouble. 

Naturally, Robin and Steve were determined to protect her.

They kept Max safe. Steve’s house was tucked away in the nicest part of Loch Nora where Neil would never find Max, if he even tried. 

It felt like he was just in it for the thrill of seeing Max scared, that he really didn’t care if she got away or not.

So she was safe with them.

…

It was Robin who brought up the idea of adoption.

They were already basically raising her. Robin drove her to school, Steve took her out to eat dinner on Friday nights when Robin worked the late shift, they had game nights, ordered pizza and watched movies on late nights after a sports game, (Dustin had made sure that they went to every single one of Mike and Lucas’s basketball games, the two boys were staring players on the team.)

It only made sense for them to adopt her. A permanent protection, that they would always be there for her.

So Steve hired his parent’s best lawyers and took Neil to court for child abuse and sexual assault. There was actually a lot more he could have taken Neil to court for, minor in possession of alcohol (alcohol was always within Billy and Max’s reach,) direct disobedience of authority (Neil had ignored Hopper’s warning to keep his hand off the kids numerous times,) and even drinking and driving with children in the vehicle (Whenever Neil picked Max up from school he was  _ always  _ drunk.)

It had been a long battle, but when Susan was revoked custody and Neil was sentenced to life in jail, Max officially moved into the bedroom on the ground floor.

They were one happy little family, and Max was dead-set on finding Robin a girlfriend after she found out. At the end of April, she thought that Nancy and Robin would be the cutest couple ever.

She made plans to set them up many times, typical high-school love stories she saw in all the movies. The classic diner date, a trip to the state fair in June, seeing a movie and holding hands in the popcorn bucket?! Max thought that was adorable. She loved when Lucas did that when they went to the movies, jeez she could be such a sap. With Jonathon moved away Nancy was lonely, it seemed like a perfect opportunity to get her the perfect girl.

Max never got that far after she heard Nancy talking to her long-distance boyfriend on the phone and realized just how in love they were.

It had been Robin and Steve that Max finally trusted to come out of the closet herself, revealing her crush on El and her bisexuality. Steve still remembered word-for-word on how the conversation went.

Max had slumped into the kitchen after Lucas dropped her off on his ride home. She tossed her bag down onto the cedar chest and grabbed an apple from the bowl on the island, waiting.

When Robin came walking in, Steve was making dinner. Max was still sulking at the counter.

“What’s up buttercup?” Robin ruffled Max’s hair.

“I think I’m broken.” Max didn’t look up from where her eyes were trained on the table. Her homework sat in front of her, untouched.

“Why do you think that?” Both Steve and Robin asked her at the same time, in the same tone, concerned but still playful with hope. Sometimes Steve swore that they were two halves of the same brain, they were just so alike. Except Robin had all the smarts.

“I-I, I don’t understand.” Max was mumbling, on the verge of tears.

“Your homework? I can help you with that,” Robin sat down across from Max at the kitchen island, grabbing up an orange and beginning to peel it.

Max was silent for a minute longer.

“How can I… How can I love Lucas, but still-still be obsessed with E-El at the same time?” There were tears pouring down Max’s face, and Robin looked like she felt the same.

Steve got up and wrapped his arms around Max from behind and Robin got up and came around the counter, pulling Max into the tightest hug.

“Maxie, you’re not broken. It’s okay. I get it, I really do. It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay,” Robin’s voice was comforting and Steve knew she was pouring out her own feelings, all the things she wished someone had told her.

“R-really?” Max looked up at her with wet blue eyes, her bottom lip quivering.

“Yes, really. You’re not broken, you’re still perfectly normal. You’re still the same Max as always. And we still love you and always will,” Steve chimed in. He knew what to say, what to make Max feel better because he often found himself comforting Robin when she was self-doubting. 

After that, Max told the rest of the party that she was bisexual, what Robin said the term for liking both genders was. They accepted her right away, but the redhead had still been scared to tell El about her feelings for her.

Steve was proud of his little makeshift family. Lucas had bought Max a promise ring, and despite her one-sided feelings for El, she still loved Lucas and knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

In May, Nancy, Jonathon, and Robin finally finished school.

On Robin’s graduation day, Steve scooped her up and spun her around in his arms after the ceremony. 

“I made it!” Robin was so happy.

They had come so far, and she deserved the world. 

…

Robin wanted to take a gap year, it wouldn’t be right for her to leave Max after so little time with her.

So she stayed in Hawkins, keeping her job at Family Video until August, when Radio Shack opened back up across town and she quit for the air-conditioned office of the town’s new music hot spot. Steve followed her, of course. He never planned on leaving his best friend’s side.   
It was the bitterly cold Christmas of 1986 when Robin met Kali. She was spending time with her little sister after Hopper had been rescued from Russia, and El was happy that she was there to meet her friends. 

Steve could picture now the almost instant love and affection drawn all over Robin’s face when she walked in.

El had gone running when there was a knock at the door. Steve could see the tail end of a van outside across the street in the road, looking beat up and old.

This ought to be good.

“Kali!!” Everyone heard El cry from the foyer.

“Jane! You’ve grown so much,” The other voice was older, softer, with an accent Steve couldn’t quite place. Something a little Chicago, a little British, and maybe a touch of Danish. At least based off what he heard in Robin’s old westerns and rom-coms from the sixties that he sometimes watched with her.  _ ‘The classics,’  _ she would say.

When El came dragging her into the living room to everyone, the teen was not what they were expecting.

She was pretty. On the short side for sure, just a little shorter than El, a bit taller than Will. Her hair was cut in bangs and half of it was dyed a pink color that leaned more on the purple side. The other half was black. Her eyes were piercing, greenish-grayish-brown, with years of betrayal, death, and hurt behind them. 

“Guys, this is my sister, Kali,” El said, not letting go of where she was clutching to her leather jacket sleeve. 

When Max had met Kali, her first thought was  _ “You and Robin would make a good couple.” _

Then it was like everyone got it. She was another number, grown up and tortured alongside El. 

When Steve had looked over at Robin he saw her like she had never been before. Pure wonder and excitement on her face. She looked obsessed, honestly. There was something about this girl that she loved. Steve knew she would be two scared to talk to her though, to take a chance. So he did the obvious, he went for the kill and tried to set them up.

El convinced Kali to stay, who only had just wanted to check on her after not seeing her for over two years. She was persuaded by El puppy-dog eyes though, and Joyce was more than happy to have her stay and meet everybody.

So Steve went up to her once she was alone. She was in the hallway, looking at all the framed pictures lining the walls of the wheeler house, where they were having their Christmas dinner.

“What do you want? You don’t seem like the type to like a girl like me,” Kali said without even turning around, somehow she knew who he was and that he was even there. He couldn’t tell if she was calling him racist, shallow, mean, or all three.

“Uh- actually. My friend, she thinks you’re really cool and pretty. She’s too shy to make a move though,” Steve shook his head, thinking of what to say next. He knew he sounded like an idiot.

Kali spun around on her heels to look at him.

“And which one would be your friend? Cause if it’s that brown haired girl she can go cry in a corner. I already hate her and it’s been less than three hours.” Kali crossed her arms across her chest.

“Uh Nancy? No, she’s taken. And my ex, so I would never be her wing man…”    
Kali raised an eyebrow.

“Robin, the blonde one, you know. Always staring at you, kinda cute.” Steve mumbled over his words,

“Kinda? Please, she’s smoking hot,” Kali leaned up against the wall. Steve had to let out a snort at that.

“Are you being sarcastic? Robin really likes you, I don’t want to crush her like that.” Steve took a step toward her. He was always looking out for his best friend.

“No, I actually like her. But girls that look like her aren’t gay, they have perfect lives and perfect boyfriends. Not girls that look like me,” Kali words hit Steve like a bullet. She looked at the floor. She looked like she could cry.

It must be hard, having no childhood. Being all alone and ashamed of herself. Steve could only imagine.

“Come on, she’ll be happy to formally meet you,” Steve beckoned her forward, and surprisingly she agreed, taking his hand gingerly and walking out into the house with him.

Robin and Kali had disappeared upstairs to talk. When they came out, Robin had small marks on her neck and both girls lips were kiss-swollen. Steve smiled.

...   
After Christmas dinner Hopper proposed to Joyce and Dustin swears that Will almost had an aneurysm he was so excited. 

Hopper had grabbed Joyce’s plate, setting it down on the counter for her.

She went to stand up, but Hopper kneeled down in front of her first, pulling out a small box.

El’s pupils were blown and she was bouncing in her seat, watching in excitement.

“Joyce. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, and you make me so happy everyday. It would be my perfect life to be with you. Joyce Anne Byers, will you marry me?” 

Joyce had said yes immediately. Everyone was so happy. They hugged the newly engaged couple and cried and ate cake that Hopper had bought and kept hidden until that very moment. 

El’s family was finally complete, a father, a mother, two brothers, and a sister. One complete family in El’s book.

Everything was so sweet. It was perfect. 

...

Max and El played match-maker, pushing Kali and Robin closer and closer to each other until  _ finally  _ the two admitted the fact that they were head-over-heels for each other. Despite the fact they they and made out on multiple occansions, it was never more than that, just some dumb love. But they were so close it was scary, Kali seemed to always know what Robin was thinking, and vise versa. 

Getting them to actually spit out the words and say that they loved each other was not an easy task.

Max tackled Robin to the couch on day when they were snowed in.

“Robin, go pick up that phone and go call Kali. You look like someone kicked your puppy in front of you, you’re so sad. Go tell her that you love her,” Max wasn’t asking, she was demanding. Sometimes you just had to bite the bullet and use some brutal force.

Surprisingly, Robin did. She called Kali and admitted her feelings and both girls were crying. When the snow cleared and they could be together again they sat in Robin’s room for four hours, just staying in each other’s company.

It was honestly adorable.

Kali ended up staying in Hawkins. The Byers-Hopper family was too crowded for her tastes, and Jonathon actually kind of hated her guts, so she moved in with Steve, Robin, and Max. 

Robin and Kali started dating, keeping it secret to themselves for a little bit before El found out and just couldn’t keep her mouth shut. They were the cutest couple ever according to El, even beating out Nancy and Jonathon- who she thought were adorable beyond belief.

…

For college, Robin was accepted into nine different schools, out of the eleven she applied for. In the end, they chose Berkeley as a team, Kali, Steve, and Robin.

Kali wanted to get far away from her childhood trauma, just being in the town of Hawkins giving her the chills every time they went out, but she had stayed, for El and Robin, even leaving her ragtag group behind for the girls she loved and would do anything to protect.

Steve and Kali followed Robin to California, the three of them moving into a small two-bedroom rental house on the upper west side. Robin didn't want to live in the dorms She was still racked by nightmares occasionally, and staying with the two people she loved the most helped ease the terror.

As Max’s legal guardian, Steve had to find some sort of home for her, as they were moving away and he couldn’t rip her away from her friends like that and drag her back across the country, as much as she did want to go back to the sunny beaches of her hometown, Hawkins was her home now.

So Mr. and Mrs. Sinclair took her in, even letting Max share a room with Lucas, despite the obvious hesitation. Steve felt good knowing she was in safe hands.

Robin was doing well in school; focused on becoming a detective while also writing her own songs and learning other instruments and languages. She said she liked the thrill of multitasking, whatever that was. Steve had no idea what that thrill was and knew he had never felt it before- he was convinced it was just a smart-people thing despite Robin constantly telling him he was smarter than he thought he was, that he didn’t give himself enough credit. Kali thought it was mesmerizing to watch her work, going back and forth between editing her lyrics and adding new ones, her guitar, and the old German books she was studying from. 

Kali had found her love for art and painting. Expressing her thoughts and feelings down on canvas just felt right to her. The paint brush fit perfectly in her hand, as her instructor would say. She had started taking classes in a more rural part of town at Robin and Steve’s encouragements. Her favorite thing to paint were landscapes. Most Sunday mornings Robin and Steve woke up to find her following Bob Ross tutorials on the TV in the living room. 

Steve went into children’s counseling. He loved helping kids with problems, big or small. He had been doing for the past three years anyway, Max said it was a perfect career choice for him. He worked with middle school kids best, getting a job as a guidance counselor at the northern middle school in town. The kids really confided in him and Steve made sure they felt safe talking to him.

Robin, Steve, and Kali were all happy with what they were doing and glad that they were all together.

Maybe things were a little rocky sometimes, maybe they weren’t always best friends, but they would always be the Party, and everything would be okay. Because they were a group because they felt safe in each other’s arms.

And no matter how many times he saw them, Steve’s heart would always melt when he saw his girls smile.


End file.
